It's Monday and I'm here to talk about emotional guinea pigs. I know it sounds a little ludicrous but I have an emotional guinea pig and I'm so grateful for it.
So what exactly is an emotional guinea pig, you ask? We've all had previous relationships where things turn out not so well and when everything is said and done, you've been left with battle scars, right?
Scars like fear and unworthiness. We question some aspects of ourselves and vow to not be hurt the same way again. You've put your hand too close to the stove and you've been burned. You've learned your lesson. But the question is, what's so wrong with getting burned?
We give of ourselves but we hold back ten or twenty percent of what we have to give or feel to ensure that the person that we trust our hearts to doesn't hurt us completely.
What's wrong with being completely foolish and letting yourself feel?
Now back to the emotional guinea pig part.
An emotional guinea pig is someone with whom you are willing to let yourself open up completely to. Despite the fears that have grown in you. Despite the hurt you've felt before. It's the person who you trust to still like and love you when the emotionally ugly side rears it's head when you decide to confront it. It's the person that you say, "I wouldn't normally do this" to.
When I was seeing a therapist, it was suggested that I should let people know my emotions.
CHPG is my emotional guinea pig. I've revealed so many things to him. Things I would have just let fester inside myself. I've allowed myself to feel 100% again with him. It's scary because I'm letting myself be so vulnerable, and being on the Cancer/Leo cusp, vulnerable is not something I'm not very comfortable allowing myself to be. It's not something very many people are comfortable allowing themselves to be but it's oh so essential.
Why do kids always find the smallest things extraordinary? Because they're experiencing them for the first time. Why is it that things that you experience for the first time are so exhilarating? Because you've decided to do it, and when you do it, you're letting yourself feel 100% for a short period of time.
So confront your fears. Be vulnerable. Let yourself feel. Put your heart on your sleeve. Find your emotional guinea pig.
Photo Credit: Paige'X